Opening Speech By Team Manager

"It is with great honour and pleasure that I assume the position of the founding Team Manager of Street 51 Football Club. The establishment of this footballing body finds its roots in the forging of the bonds of friendship over the years in which members of the team have known one another. At this opportune time, we seek to lift our footballing skills to a higher level, one that may one day match the best in the country. In doing so, we encourage others to follow our footsteps, for the sake of not only the development of football in our country, but more importantly for the untainted love of the beautiful game itself.
To my players, as we begin our journey into the unknown, be aware that criticisms are bound to arise, be it on our footballing skills, or our off-the-field lifestyles. Yes, I agree that not all of us are as skilful as Cristiano Ronaldo, but I nevertheless urge you to be resolute in the face of adversity. It is very likely that Matreps and Ahbengs will snap at any chance to ridicule us, for perhaps some misplaced back-pass to an opponent or tap-in which goes over the bar, but it is important to ignore such criticisms. Remember that the better we play, the more jealous they get and the more they would want to break our legs, but think again - will they ever get close enough? In Street 51 Football Club, we let our feet do the talking.
My prior managerial experiences, virtual or real, allow me to foresee that this team will indeed go far. We have both individual skill and cohesiveness as a unit, so there is simply no reason to flounder. But also remember that no matter where our skill takes us, it is important to keep our feet on the ground, and not let the success get the better of our thinking minds. I have seen a multitude of exceptionally good football players being ruined by the lure of booze, babes and the high life and it would make me thoroughly disappointed for any of you to lose your God-given soccer talent to these vices."
With that, let me once again congratulate every one of you for being the selected players of Street 51 Football Club and may all our aims and ambitions be realized in time to come."